Rollercoaster

Hello, this is Aloola writing.

The short story is that I am experiencing my husband's love more than ever before. This is because there is another man in my life since about a month. It has rocked our boat, I can tell you. The other man is a friend to Ramon and has been my friend for nearly eight years I will call him Mr. Handsome. First, I couldn't quite believe it - he seemed to be coming on to me showing little signs of affection and appreciation. I have always - from day 1 - adored him, being a very handsome and fine guy, tall and rather shy. So, this was actually setting off a fire in me which I couldn't control anymore. I opened up to Ramon right from the beginning of these newly felt emotions. Ramon responded with support, he actually motivated me to show my affection for his friend and invite him to flirt openly with me (all via ethernet so far). My mind was spinning and I felt all the butterflies that come with falling in love. At first, Mr. Handsome didn't know that I shared everything with my husband from the start, and I - from time to time - felt a bit controlled by Ramon, as he wanted to see all our conversations. So, at one point, Mr. Handsome and I started to text each other on our mobile phones to keep a tiny little part of it secret. I felt I couldn't be myself being watched all the time and I wanted to take this further. My cells felt drawn to Mr. Handsome, more and more. But, as life goes, Ramon saw two text messages, when he couldn't find his own phone and was about to use mine to send a text to somebody. Those new phones show all the last conversations, so he immediately spotted Mr. Handsome's last reply to my last message, which said something like: "Can't wait to see you too, Love you!" Ramon stormed into our bedroom and confronted me with this, and you may imagine how I felt. It was a mixture between being discovered, and the shame that comes with it, and 'oh my god, what have I done'. I tried to stay calm though and explain, and nothing had happened between Mr. Handsome and myself, so my conscience was clear. Ramon calmed down, too, as we talked about the issue. But we both came to the conclusion, that I had gone too far, and that therefore it had to end. My heart sank, but I agreed. The next day we met Mr. Handsome and his partner at a club do and had also agreed to go there in the evening to have a take away and a social. When we arrived at the club, I knew I had to give Mr. Handsome a sign that it was all over. He had no idea and appeared very cheerful and looked at me with these eyes, which were telling me: "I want to be with you, I wish I could hold you close now". I gave him a desperate look, and he didn't understand. So, a few minutes later, I found an opportunity to tell him that Ramon had seen our texts and that it had to end. I could see his heart sinking. He must have approached Ramon shortly afterwards, because after a while Ramon told me that Mr. Handsome had told him at the bar that it was nothing, and it was just a bit of fun. Ramon replied to him that texting was out of question as the children could use my phone and there was a possibility they would see such messages. At that point I wondered if my husband planned to let this go on anyway, as he didn't say to his friend it had to stop between us. But the day became a rollercoaster for me and I could see that Mr. Handsome turned into a silent, sad, withdrawn man, who wanted to just disappear. I felt so sorry form him and tears were running down my face when I told Ramon. He was very compassionate but asked me to forget about it for the day and evening, as we wanted this to be a happy day, and it wasn't fair on Mr. Handsome's partner, who didn't know anything about what was going on.
I don't know how, but we managed to pretend having a good time and the evening was fairly pleasant, eating and drinking together and playing games.
On our way home, Ramon and I started talking about the issue again, but I was very confused about my feelings, and it was late, so we went to bed without having found a conclusion. The next morning we talked again, as we were both a little clearer about our emotions. Ramon understood that I needed some freedom to express myself without being controlled (watched) all the time, and I understood that Ramon needed to be part of all this and being kept in the loop of what was happening between his friend and me.

More soon ...... x

Ramon’s Story

Tantra has become a big part in our lives at the moment. I stand by everything Aloola says in her post below. I really don’t know what it was on this tantric web site that attracted my attention. My background is a ‘normal’ British man: My interests, that were considered not main stream at that time, could have only been left wing politics and humanist views as an atheist.

Many of the people we meet at seminars seem to come from a healing background: From GP’s to the more alternative Reiki people etc. As an engineer with no spiritual feelings or thoughts, it did seem a strange step to take. My assumption now is, I chose Tantra for my Aloola.

In early tutorials I found myself looking for that inner boost and the sense of enlightenment others talked about. It happens from time to time but not always. What I do feel is the love, closeness, union, and intimacy we get afterwards, that can last for days. The deeper the course and the harder we push those boundaries the longer it can last. Today I am totally committed and happy to walk ‘the Tantric path’ with Aloola.

I am quite happy to talk about the Tantric classes we have been on, or the three very different teachers, and the boundaries we crossed etc; so please ask.

This has opened other avenues for us, and the open life style is a big topic for us at the present. We have agreed to tread slowly and together hand in hand. It is very exciting and at the same time quite scary; neither of us know if we can handle what’s ahead. We have plans but they’re not for publication yet (but we will take recommendations, dear reader, if you are there?).

Yesterday we took the time to indulge ourselves in another ‘hobby’ of ours: Erotic Photography (me behind the camera and Aloola in front) and are very happy with the results. Aloola is in a thigh-length see-through lace dress and high heels. Other props used include ropes, whips and leather cuffs.

I would like more than anything to publish a picture here for comment, and if it appears it will be a tamer picture, that will protect our anonymity for the sake of the children (how hard can it be having weird parents and then having all your mates finding out?).

Signing off now, till the next time.

Ramon.

Tantric Disco

You are invited to join our first Tantric Dance  on 4^th November 2011 from 7 to 11 pm at Yarnton Village Hall, The Paddocks, Yarnton, Oxon, OX5 1TE.

Bring your favourite tantric outfit (lunghi okay) and your favourite cushion to sit on. There will be drinks, fruit and nibbles, no alcohol.

Special guests: Marta & Robert

Parking available.

Bus: Stagecoach No. S3 to 'The Paddocks'

and then ca. 3 min. walk along The Paddocks.

This event is about dancing in a tantric atmosphere with like-minded people to powerful, cheerful and rhythmic dance music.

Investment: £8 per person (£12 per couple).

If you need accommodation nearby,

we can let you have a list of B&Bs/Hotels.
Just email 2openheartz@gmail.com

Four hours of pure joy and fun guaranteed!

Numbers are limited and spaces are filling up rapidly!

Please RSVP to 2openheartz@gmail.com

Ramon and I are very excited about this first tantric disco, which will hopefully set off a number of following events like that.

We are looking forward to having a fabulous time with you!

Aloola & Ramon

Our Tantric Path

This is Aloola writing. When I went into my relationship with Ramon about 7.5 years ago, I told him I wanted this relationship to last. And the only way I saw it last was to create something together, to grow together, and I left it to him what we were going to do. He knew I had been doing a lot of self development work, including Tantra. After a while he came to me and told me he found this website of people offering Tantra. My heart bounced, because I was not only utterly surprised but also very very happy about his decision to go a tantric path together. We have been walking this path since then and we are still totally committed to grow as a couple and as individuals. Right now we are doing a couples training, which will go over three quarters of a year. We have only just finished the first of five and we're looking forward to the next one in November. We have never looked back, and we manage our relationship, which is sometimes very rocky, quite well. I see it as a garden, which needs looking after. If we let the weed overgrow, we know, it will be hard work or even too late, depending on life circumstances. For the first time in my life I am totally committed to a relationship. I am so proud of myself having got there. And I am so grateful having found my wonderful handsome man. This is it in a nutshell, and I have so much more to say, but will do it gradually.